


Incomprehensible

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9844727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: 2017 - the year of change.





	

“I’m sorry.”

Phil momentarily stops packing up his final box and turns to face Dan, who is leaning against the doorframe.

“You don’t need to be sorry” Dan replies, trying to sound casual whilst a tear-drenched pillow lays atop the bedspread in his own room. “We knew it was coming.”

But that didn’t mean that Dan in any way _wanted_ it to happen.

Phil presses his lips together and nods, then tapes up the box and lifts it onto the empty bedframe. He looks around the room and sighs. “It’s weird to see it like this.”

Dan sighs inwardly and forces a smile. To keep up appearances if nothing else.

Phil’s phone rings loudly from his pocket, and upon seeing the caller ID he glances apologetically at his best friend.

“Well, that’s my ride.”

Dan nods, and follows Phil out of the room, and into the living room. A sitcom rerun is playing quietly even though nobody has bothered with it in hours, Dan finds some comfort in it regardless.

Phil looks around the room, and Dan can’t help but follow suit. For a second or two, they ignore the ringing of Phil’s phone again and turn to face one another.

The box is placed on the floor and Phil pulls Dan in for a tight hug. He buries his face into Dan’s shoulder, and Dan is sure his knuckles have turned white, he’s clinging onto Phil’s shirt so much.

It seems only a second before they break apart, and one of the movers pokes their head in the front door.

“Sorry for interrupting, but are you ready Mister Lester?”

Phil turns to face them and mutters a quick apology and nods. They disappear again, and Phil picks up the box. But he doesn’t make an attempt to move.

Dan knows he could say what’s on his mind. He could beg Phil to stay. Maybe it would even work.

But he doesn’t.

Because Dan loves Phil and worships the ground he walks on, and that’s why he stays silent and waves Phil off with tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart.

\--

The webcam microphones haven’t improved since 2009.

“How are you settling in?” Dan asks, clutching his bedsheets to keep his tears at bay.

Phil fidgets and pulls the sleeves of his jumper over his hands. Dan always smiled when he did that.

“It’s really cold,” Phil explains. “And I barely have anything unpacked yet, everything’s kind of a mess.”

“You know you can always come here, right?” It took every inch of Dan’s self-control to not say ‘come home’ instead.

Phil smiles and nods. “That reminds me, I still have my key. Do you want me to come by tomorrow and drop it in?”

Dan is all too quick to shake his head. “No!” he gushes, and tries to ignore Phil’s slightly startled expression. “I mean, you need it. If I’m ever running late on a day we’re filming or whatever or… you know, yeah...”

Phil blinks a couple of times. “Um, okay.” Thankfully he drops the topic. “Speaking of, are we filming a bunch of gaming videos tomorrow?”

Dan tightens his grip on the sheets and forces a smile onto his face. “Yep. The office is exactly the same give or take a few décor bits in the background, I rearranged it to look the same. They won’t be able to tell a thing.”

Phil nods. “I’ll bring some shirts to change into for every video.”

The oldest YouTube collab trick in the book.

“Also you can give me back my university hoodie whenever” Phil jokes, and Dan looks down, he didn’t even realise he was wearing it. It wasn’t as if he could just return it across the hall like he used to.

“Sorry,” he feels his heart swell in the most metaphorically painful of ways, “It’s just comfortable.”

Phil shrugs. “It’s fine, honestly. Also I’ll do my liveshow after we’ve filmed tomorrow, if that’s alright? Nothing’s really changed in that corner of the room so it’ll be impossible for them to tell anything.”

Dan nods. “That’s fine. I’ll get a head start on editing whilst you do that.”

“Sounds a plan… Listen I should probably get some sleep, but I’ll text you when I’m on my way tomorrow?”

Dan swallows thickly and nods. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Dan.” Phil smiles weakly and ends the call.

\--

Phil’s phone interrupts them once again, this time during filming.

“Shit I forgot to switch it off, sorry,” he apologises before digging into his pocket and retrieving the device. He looks down at it and Dan watches as a smile tugs at the edges of Phil’s lips. He manages to tear his gaze away just as Phil turns to face him. “Mind if I take this really quickly?”

Dan forces himself to smile politely and shakes his head.

Phil thanks him and exits the room temporarily, but leaves the door slightly ajar.

“I’ll be home at about nine, yeah? Just wait out front and I’ll meet you there. Okay, yeah, see you then.”

Dan overhears the entire thing. He was selfish and stupid to think what he’s been thinking up until that point.

He wants to scream at Phil that he already _is_ home. But he doesn’t.

He feels his eyes getting heavier as he makes eye contact with the camera.

“Edit this entire disaster out with a jumpcut” he instructs his future self, and places his head in his hands.

\--

“Excuse us for interrupting but could we please get a picture?” two teenage girls approach Dan in the street, smiling widely and wide-eyed.

Sub-consciously his breath hitches in his throat, and it remains that way until after the pictures have been taken. He hopes his smile hasn’t gotten less believable over time. He sure as hell feels as if it has.

“Where’s Phil?” one of the girls asks, looking over at him curiously.

“He’s… at home” Dan replies, feeling the all too familiar pang in his chest.

He knows that Phil isn’t waiting for him back at the flat.

“I hope you’re both happy,” the other girl says, the unusual speech taking him by surprise slightly, “You both really deserve to be.”

“Thank you” the words slip off of Dan’s tongue before his mind can process them.

“Tell Phil we said hi!” one of them says before they wave their goodbyes and set off back down the street, both eagerly tapping on their phones.

Dan presses his lips together and carries on walking too, his gaze never once leaving the floor.

\--

Phil posts a picture on Twitter and Tumblr, of a drink he had at a restaurant and how he accidentally ate some moss.

Immediately, Dan is tagged in a large amount of tweet replies, and his indirects all assume that they are at the restaurant together.

It’s the first time Dan is seeing the picture, too.

He sighs and closes the app, and pulls up Phil’s latest video. He’s done an immaculate job of recreating his old room setup. Even Dan couldn’t tell a difference and he helped Phil put everything together at his new house. Nobody seems to realise. Even the shape of the room and the lighting worked in Phil’s favour.

\--

Dan still gets Phil’s mail, and Dan uses it as an excuse to text him, though Phil’s reply is simply that he’ll drop by sometime next week to pick it up. They have enough gaming videos in reserve to last them at least a month. There’s nothing else Dan can think of to say. Phil invites him over occasionally but almost every time conversation is interrupted by Phil’s phone, and he remains secretive.

Dan doesn’t pry, he wants Phil to be happy.

Even if it means living in a half-empty flat and realising what his home actually was all along. And how he’d never get it back.

They both agreed that 2017 would be the year of change, Dan just assumed they had the same ideas.

They didn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/bloggerhowell) / [Tumblr](http://cafephan.tumblr.com)


End file.
